I knew from a very young age that I had a hard time conforming to society’s expectations of me as a female, as an ethnic minority, and as a child of the 90’s. I grew up questioning government establishments. Everything was a conspiracy theory, or a movement. I wouldn’t label myself a hipster; I’m sorry there’s just something off about people who ride their bikes to work. And my thoughts aren’t too out of this world for me to be labeled a pothead. I guess I’m just that awkward place right in the middle. All I know is that I think differently then most people. But now, I’ve hit this roadblock in life where I’m questioning my own motives. I need to figure out if I’m just protesting for the sake of protesting, “hey, look at me, I’m a hipster I like to oppose the basic foundations of society!” or if these are my true beliefs. What really boggles my mind is the idea that we’re not really rebelling on our own. At the end of the day, it’s still society fine tuning our minds and telling us to rebel. (BAM mind blown!)
For example, I was never a big fan of marriage, the elaborate weddings and over-the-top ceremonies. The whole spiel just never appealed to me, it felt forced and unnatural. To each there own, of course, this was just MY opinion. I felt this way long before the fad of eloping and city hall weddings became the trend, so it bothered me that, everyone was doing it now. Like an emo kid coloring her hair green for attention, I decided I’d take it a step further. “I no longer want to get married!” I said. What’s the point in marriage anyways? Two people getting stuck under the same roof, miserable and unhappy, trying to force monogamy from a species that wasn’t made to do such a thing. But now that 2017 is upon us, I’ve taken a step back and re-evaluated my prior notions. It wasn’t that I didn’t believe in marriage, it was that I wanted to rebel against society. I didn’t like that society was telling me I should be married by 30, have 2 kids and a house with a white picket fence.
We are constantly being fed lies and told to believe them. I’m not going to mention the obvious lies of the media and politics that most of us have already come to terms with. But rather the smaller white lies that society has trained you to believe.
Like, “talking to strangers is weird.” Some of the closest people in my life today are strangers that I met on the Internet, bar, or coffee shop.
“As you get older it get’s easier.” Just make it past high school they said, these good grades will set you up with the perfect career.
“Bad things only happen to bad people.” Well, we all know that’s a lie.
I guess what I’ve been trying to figure out, is if I’m actually rebelling or conforming to a rebellious way of thinking. But then again, why does it need to be so black and white, either conforming or rebelling. Maybe it’s just about asking questions. Questions that we either don’t have the answers to, or we don’t want to hear the answers to. Let’s not forget that it’s questions that help us progress forward, it’s questions that have brought us this far.
Sorry for the long absence friends, i’ve had a busy couple of months. But now i’m back with some great new posts that I can’t wait to share with you all:)