I want a puppy so bad, but mom and dad said no. Mom said we can’t, because of something called fazma or azma. They don’t understand how much I am ready for one. I promised to feed him and brush him everyday, but they still said no. It’s not fair, no one loves me in this family.
There’s a boy in my class named Deron and he invited me out to the movies. This would be my first date with a boy alone. I like Deron, he’s really cute and nice. Plus he doesn’t smell funny like Kevin or Tommy. In math class, I saw him look at me 23 times, my bestfriend Sally said that means he is in love with me. Sometimes at recess we sit on the swings and just talk about life. He wants to be a dentist you know. I asked dad permission to go, but he said no and that I was too young to date. My parents are so old and strict, just because they weren’t allowed to date back home, they treat me the same way. They don’t realize times have changed. Deron is going to think I don’t like him now, and I’m going to stay single forever. Ugh I should’ve just lied to dad and went instead. How come my parent’s never understand?
Today is my high school graduation, I am really sad. All the girls started crying. Everyone’s going to different schools, everything’s going to be different now. We made a promise to never stop being friends, no matter what. We even promised to be the bridesmaids at each of our weddings. My best friend, Kimmy, is moving to another province for school. She promised to always facetime me and I promised to drive up and see her once every month. Mom says I will make new friends in college, and that I should be open to new beginnings. That’s the thing mom, I don’t want new friends. I don’t want things to change.
School is so f!*kin hard. I don’t know why I signed up for this ridiculous program to begin with. Dorm life sucks, the food is bland and not helping with my weight gain. I miss home so much, mom’s home cooked meals and dad’s chauffer services. I can’t wait for exams to be over, I miss home.
I’m finally moved out into my own place thanks to my new job at the firm. I feel like Carrie Bradshaw minus the new york fancy apartment. The fast pace environment, the exotic people and the wild clubs. Finally, I can taste my independence. The days I’m not working, I manage to go bar hunting with my co-workers. So far, I already have three dates for next week. Tall and broad shoulders seem to be my new weakness. My parents keep asking to come over, but if my mom see’s the condition of my apartment, she will freak out! Vodka bottles everywhere and not to mention the random naked guys, my roommate keeps bringing home. Maybe, next weekend I will go visit my parents. No wait, I have a date that Saturday. So maybe, the following week.
My wedding was great, I am so blessed to have met a man like Adam. He completes me in every way. I was especially happy to see some of my old high school friends, not everyone was able to make it but a few did. We caught up on our lives and reminisced over old stories. My highschool bestfriend Kimmy also couldn’t make it, she was too busy with work, but she sent me a wedding gift in the mail. Dad made a toast at the reception that just had me in tears. Mom gifted me with a beautiful diamond necklace. I never realized how much I was going to miss them until today. I’m excited to move away from my role as a daughter and take on the role of a wife now.
Dad has been diagnosed with late stage Alzheimer. I never realized how bad it had gotten, it used to start with just forgetting car keys and leaving the refrigerator door open. I wish I could visit him more often but we live 4 hours away from my parent’s house, and my job at the new firm has been really busy. I asked Adam to take our daughter Anna, and go down for a visit. However, he refuses to let go of his grudge, he’s been holding with my father. They had gotten into a huge argument last Christmas and hadn’t spoken since. I guess I’ll just go down to see him for thanksgiving.
Mom has moved in with us today. After dad’s passing she had insisted in living in the home by herself. She didn’t want to be dependent on anyone, and I had respected her wishes. But now she is growing more and more frail. Even getting into the shower is a great struggle for her. Adam and I know it’s not going to be easy and a lot of changes are going to have to be made with our schedules. But I would not have it any other way. I regret not being there more for my father when he was alive and I will not make the same mistakes with my mother.
I just got back from the lawyer’s office, Adam and I are filing for a divorce. It hasn’t been easy for me; my heart feels really heavy right now. At times like this is when I wish you were still with me, mom. You were the best listener, and my go to person to talk to. You never interrupted my sentences or gave me unsolicited advice, no you just listened. I miss you more then ever.