Exclusive [ik-skloo-siv]: limited to the object or objects designated
The precursor to a healthy relationship, before given the titles of boyfriend and girlfriend, comes the decision to be exclusive to one another. An agreement made to maintain the progression of getting to know each other, while cutting out all flirty conversations and other prospects from the picture. Why bother to have this stage of exclusivity and not just head straight into a relationship since it’s practically the same thing? Well that’s just how 2016 dating works I suppose. Don’t hate the players hate the game. Now how do you initiate that conversation of wanting to be exclusive with the person you are dating? In an ideal situation, the conversation is not needed and it will just occur naturally. But in some cases a little push is required. Ask the person head on! That is really the best advice I can give, because there is no better tool to building a strong relationship than open and clear conversations. Here are a few other things you can do to help…
1) Give him/her that Ultimatum:
Now think about it, you’re a guy whose been enjoying that single life. A girl comes along that you’re heavily interested in but you tell her that you are not sure if you want to be exclusive. She listens to what you have to say and then continues talking to you like normal. In your mind, she is agreeing to a non-exclusive, openly dating contract. Now us women can’t blame the guy for never getting serious with us. We make this mistake all the time, women more so then men. Believing that with time the other person would want to commit and would want to settle down with you. And yes, you are correct the time may very well come when he will want to settle down, but by that time almost 90% sure that it will not be with you. It would happen to him within months of meeting this new person. This whole 6months to years of dating someone non-exclusively is just a waste of time. I think after a good 4 months of dating someone is a good enough time frame to give them the ultimatum to be exclusive or not. But regardless that ultimatum needs to be given! Don’t let them ride you along because if you let them they will.
2) With hold from SEX:
Now remember all sex does is complicate things more. Yes some people are able to have the no-strings attached kind of physical interactions, but this aint no Justin T /Mila Kunis ordeal. Well actually even in the movie they end up falling in love, so UGH! I mean just from a scientific standpoint it’s bound to happen. One minute you’re releasing pheromones, next minute your brain is hitting over-drive on wedding planning. DON’T DO IT. With hold from sex until you have agreed to be exclusive to one another. This way you are showing the person that you are interested in a relationship rather than just a fling. Plus imagine just how much better the sex will be with all that built up tension.
3) Don’t Stop Dating Other People:
If one of you is not ready to be exclusive, then do yourself a favor and continue to go out and date others. For one, it’s way more attractive to talk to someone who has a life outside of you. But also it keeps you from putting all your eggs in one basket. If this one does not work out, no worries you will be fine. Mind you this is only in the beginning stages of dating before exclusivity. If the person is still dating others after agreeing to be exclusive then it’s time for you to bazounce.
Hope this helped my lovelies:) Let me know in the comments if you have any other suggestions. Also let me know about what you think “exclusivity” really means in todays world of dating.