How NOT to Approach a Girl

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Hey you lovelies, so this little post is a sequel to an earlier blog post written by my dear friend Classy with a K titled “It’s all in the Approach.” If you have not yet given that a read go grab your bag of Doritos, make sure it’s the Spicy Sweet Chili kind because those are the best, and coast on over to that post first.

Ok so assuming you are now well educated on the How-to basics of approaching girls, can we please talk about the Don’ts! The definite Taboos! The try this and you will forever live alone in your dirty one bedroom apartment with 16cats!  I understand that not every guy out there is Barney Stinson with the smooth one liners, or gifted with Khal Drogo’s good looks. Yet as a woman, I refuse to believe that some of these men are genuinely as clueless as they come off.  Recently, I encountered a man, to save him the embarrassment I shall call him Spongebob. Now Spongebob is a fairly well known guy, we have a lot of mutual friends, I’ve seen him around at parties and events. From day one I was able to notice that Spongebob did not have his Sandy the Squirrel, or would it be his Patrick Star, well whatever his companion, you get the point. I never thought anything of it, his love life is his own problem, it was a mere observation at that point. Even when Spongebob, would try to slide into my DMs or holler through a friend, I would just let him know I wasn’t interested and move on no big issue there. I soon started to see Spongebob everywhere, when I say everywhere I mean everywhere. He would comment under every girl’s Instagram picture, Facebook, Twitter, Tinder, Match.com, Sugardaddy.com, you name it he was there. He would approach any and every girl, his motto was if you could walk we should talk. All this time he would STILL try to message me talking about you’re the girl of my dreams, please let me take you out on a date. Now your girl was just dumbfounded. Not specifically by his actions but by the idea that this poor guy really had no game plan. He was not smooth in any way or form. Poor Spongebob was sinking deeper and deeper into bikini bottom with no way out. The sad part is I’m sure you all have encountered or at least know of a Spongebob. If you can’t think of one chances are it might just be you.  Lets help these poor guys out shall we?

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Numero 1) Send them a link to “It’s all in the Approach” to educate them on how to do it the right way. **Shameless plug**

2) DO NOT COME OFF AS THIRSTY. Chances are you don’t realize you’re doing it so here are some tips. If you message a girl and she hasn’t replied, Do not double text! No she didn’t get trapped in a whirl wind and lose her phone not being able to read your message. She has seen it. She has willingly chosen to not reply. Let it be. Move on.

3) GO IN WITH A GAME PLAN. You need to have some sort of strategy when approaching a girl. Don’t just go in thinking your going to wing it because you’ll most likely crash and burn. Wait for the right moment. You may even have to put this encounter on pause. Maybe you know she will be attending a certain event you’ll be at, wait for that event to approach her instead. Small tactics and thought out conversations are way more impressing to a girl FYI.

4) DO NOT APPROACH GIRLS FROM THE SAME CIRCLE. Now I know sometimes you just happen to fall for her best friend instead, but those are exceptions and not ideal. There are plenty of fish in the sea please don’t lay your nets so close to one another. Incase you men haven’t figured it out by now, women talk! Even if you think you’re being under cover and that no one will find out, we will find out. Do your research, find out who she ‘s friends with or who she knows BEFORE going in for the kill.

5) PLAY HARD TO GET. This one is actually pretty simple and straight forward yet surprisingly so many men struggle with perfecting this one. Ignore her from time to time. Let a couple hours go by before your next conversation. Let her think you have things going on in your life. Even if the truth is you’re staring at your computer screen for 6hrs playing Minecraft, she doesn’t need to know that. Keep her guessing and on her toes. Go out with you’re friends, make sure you let her see you going out with you’re friends for a boy’s night out. Now don’t take it to the extreme where you completely ignore her because she will move on, just tease her a little.

This is the best I can do you guys. Spongebob if you’re reading this, you’re welcome I accept e-transfers or cheques made out to veerathebraveone. All proceeds will go to helping underdeveloped creeps bloom into well educated first degree creepers.

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2 thoughts on “How NOT to Approach a Girl

  1. Mmm, I’m not fully on board with the Game Plan recommendation. I’ve found that it leads to the kind of thinking that if you come up with the right “plan” and have the right “strategy” and play the game right, then you’ll “get” (and “deserve”) the girl. As in, put in the right code, get the right results. Fulfill the quest, get the award.

    I mean, sure, anyone who wants to ask anyone out should have some plan in mind, but it can be as simple as figuring out where you want to invite the person to if they’re open to your approach. Thing is, if you spend weeks researching and watching and plotting and wondering and worrying and fine-tuning, then when she looks and says, “No, not interested.” that’s gonna be a blow. All that work you put in and she just blew you off!

    Naw man, no one made you go all obsessive. It’s a better use of your time to do less planning and more asking.

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    1. Haha I understand where you are coming from. Of course I am not actually telling men to spend weeks researching. That is not realistic and yes, may lead to dissapointment. However, aside from the exaggeration of my post, I do think some effort needs to be put in place. I don’t agree with this whole modern day approach of messaging 101 girls and just seeing which one replies. This goes for both men and women btw, I know my article singles out the men but this holds true for both genders.

      Liked by 1 person

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