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I cannot tell you how many times I have been teased for being a helpless romantic. That is exactly what I am, a girl who wears her heart on her sleeve, longs for a fairytale romance, and believes in soul mates. I for one, never saw anything wrong with this until I started looking around me and realized, damn it’s no longer cool to fall in love!


Living in a time where it’s all about self empowerment, and chasing money from as young as age 13; love is viewed as a sappy illusion, a barrier towards reaching your potential goals. If someone does happen to fall in love they are teased as falling into a trap or being weak hearted. More surprising to me is the fact that it’s women feeling this way. Which leaves me quite conflicted not knowing if I should feel proud or saddened by that. On one hand I am proud of my gender for finally stepping out of that stigma of being the more emotional one. But on the other hand being the more sensitive gender was a quality I greatly admired. Not sure if there is a correlation between this growth of more strong, independent, self-loving women and this dimming of love, romance, and relationships. To put it simply, relationships have become a battle of the sexes to see who can love less, subsequently making them the more powerful one of the two. Now don’t get me wrong there are people who don’t think this way and are happily settled with a partner. And I am thrilled and overjoyed for these people (cue sarcastic tone). Jokes aside, I am merely speaking about the shift in views I have noticed among the last couple of years. I cannot seem to pinpoint where this sudden dislike for the topic of love has come from. Is it the decline in overdramatic romantic movies? Is it rap songs portraying young single men having all the fun?


“You are a fool, if you love wholeheartedly. You are a fool if you put your all into one relationship.” These are just some of the things I have heard when discussing this topic. Supposedly, being able to walk away from a relationship and not be broken is the ultimate goal. The second you have invested too much emotion; you’re setting yourself up for disaster. I’m familiar with the dating game where you just ACT like you’re not catching feelings but to really have to try and prevent yourself from doing so is a new concept to me. Although this may sound like something coming from a bitter individual who has probably just been hurt in the past, you may be surprised to hear that majority of the time it was teens and young adults telling me this. Not much to be bitter about at that age. Back when I was a teen I was living in a fairytale land daydreaming about princes on white horses; boy has time changed!


Am I the one living in a false bubble, should I be the one opening her eyes to the “real world”? Or are people becoming so robotic where they are scared to feel true emotions anymore? Kind of like the human body’s natural defense mechanism to avoid getting hurt.



  1. Ironically, we unlock a different part of ourselves–and so change our own potential–by loving others. Truly loving them. Which means making their needs part and parcel of our own and so giving up control. To avoid love in the name of self empowerment is to empower a limited version of self.


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