A Vision Behind the Screen

 

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I feel empty. It’s a complicated feeling, one that’s hard to explain. Most days I wake up feeling alone and it hurts even more to watch others be happy. I can’t remember the last time I felt loved or the last time I had a real friend in my life. I mean, I do know people but their merely just acquaintances. No one calls my phone looking for me, or asks me to hang out. This makes me sad. Actually, this makes me mad. Why do I have to feel this way, when no one else does? I think back to the people I despise the most. The guy who never called me back after he promised he would, or that girl whose life I secretly wish I had. I absolutely hate these people!

The Internet is a love/hate relationship for me. It’s a constant reminder of how much my life sucks compared to others but also a place for me to retaliate, and make them share my pain. On the Internet you can say and do whatever you want with no one to stop you. Some call me a troll or a bully but I don’t care. They don’t need to know who I am or why I hate them. And even if I told them they just won’t understand. Sometimes I come up with clever stories, nonsense really, I mean it’s not real stories or anything, but I feel proud of my work. Every time someone likes my post or re-shares it with other people, a little sense of relief washes over me. Good, another person feels the pain I go through. Sometimes I feel bad for what I do, a little shamed of my behavior. Is this really the person I’ve become, an Internet troll? So I just hush those little voices at the back of my head and go to bed. I wake up the next morning and look at my phone. I feel empty. It’s a complicated feeling…

 

A short post on what it must feel like to be an Internet troll.  

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