How to be Tamil


First. In a wide dark room form a circle of candles on the floor. Set up the tamil feng-shui by burning some jasmine incense sticks and playing AR. Rahman BGMs on repeat.

Second. Find stereotypical tokens to throw into the circle. If male, a blow out with a fade and a side part cut. A tattoo symbolizing God or parent’s names will also do. If female, a foundation two shades lighter than your skin tone or a screenshot of your Instagram search history.

Third. Now it is time to configure your individual Tamil identity. This is what will separate you from all other Tamils. Do you want to be a TD bank teller or a paralegal? Or maybe something more artsy like a Dj, photographer, model or a makeup artist? You may choose to deviate away from the norm but that is surely taking a risk.  Once the identity process is complete, blow out the flames of each candle. Turn off the music.

You are officially Tamil.


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